infidelity or not?!?!

http://m1forward.blogspot.com/

the above blog gave me some food for thought! it discussed the way that infidelity is thought of as 'normal' in some relationships- but in this context maybe we shouldn't class it as infidelity...if both partners are aware of the situation and agree to this being a part of their relationship then to me it cant be infidelity...to me infidelity is when one partner seeks out a sexual partner or relationship outside of the one their already in- they lie, cheat and deceive the original partner so that they can have their cake and eat it to! this act is wrong because the other partner knows nothing of whats going on and will inevitably be hurt when it comes out.

In response to high rates of infidelity in the west, i would say that there is still a taboo in this country about divorce and leaving your wife/ husband and kids- there is a stigma attached which makes people turn to infidelity as a form of escape- while they maintain a 'wholesome' image and keep up with the Jones'.

in some communities it is a social norm for one partner (usually the man) to take more than one partner- in this case there would be no need for infidelity as it would be acceptable to form new relationships without breaking off existing ones when you get bored!

Also i would point out that in the west there is no strict penalty for being unfaithful- yes you lose face in some peoples eye's and risk losing your original partner- but if your not happy with this person any way- whats stopping you. Do you face a fine? Do you face prison? Will you be stoned? Will you face any form of legal penalty- NO! ITS LEGAL TO HAVE AN AFFAIR, AND OFTEN THE CONSEQUENCES OF AN AFFAIR ARE EASY FOR THE PERSON TO LIVE WITH- SIMPLY PEOPLE DO IT BECAUSE THEY CAN!

Don't know if any of you have watched this show but it was definitely food for thought for me...here's a link to the home page for 'BIG LOVE' a drama series about Mormon polygamists...

http://www.hbo.com/biglove/about/index.html

Smacking

http://bloggers-better-know.blogspot.com/
i read a blog on smacking by a fellow student and i would like to high light one point... the law talks about parents who hit so hard it leaves a mark- to me if your bruising or marking up the child's skin it is abuse. as a child i got 'beaten' but my parents never marked me- it hurt like hell for a few minutes but there were never any marks. As a mother i always watch the 'super Nannie' shows- an i agree its a load of rubbish, every child is different and responds differently- the naughty step ain't always appropriate punishment. i do smack my daughter, but only if all else fails (naughty step, taking toys etc). i think that as a child i took a calculated risk sometimes- doing things even with the threat of a beating- so i don't think it had a major negative affect on me. i was never scared of my parents- i knew right from wrong, and i knew what was expected of me- if i stepped out of line i knew what to expect.
smacking is an accepted form of punishment in many communities and cultures- i think England is becoming to much of a Nannie state- its up to you as a parent to decide whats best for your children- OK there are some extreme cases where individuals go to far and put their children at risk- but should we all be penalised for this minority. should we be left to raise our children as we feel?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4175905.stm what do you think about this new law?

Shocking images

http://bloggers-better-know.blogspot.com/ I was quite shocked by the graphic images Mr Collymore used in his blog titled Abortion, and surprised at how developed the foetus was- However i think that people are often naive and ignorant about abortion and need to see these images. Abortion is used as a method of contraception -which is wrong. I believe that every one has the right to their own choices but i think those decisions should be informed ones! At the end of the day your taking a life- can you ever really justify this??

Well worth a read

http://comicallybad.blogspot.com/2007/03/filth.html, this blog had me laughing all da way through! It is so true, women can be open about owning sex toys and devices- but men are made to feel dirty! Women have Ann Summers parties- men have secret porn stashes!!! However i think this could be because of men's insecurities and preferences- I'll explain... Men fear looking inferior to their peers, they can talk all day about the women they have had- but admitting you just went to the toilet for some 'alone time' would imply that you can't get any the 'proper' way...Men encourage women to be more open about their sexuality- you get turned on by it, women's sex toys aren't really marketed as replacements to your man- they are more the 'added bonus' when he chooses a night out with the lads instead of you. Just face it... men probably enjoy the thought of women enjoying their latest Ann Summers purchase- where as i don't think there is the same appeal for a women watching a man! (i speak for myself)

Thanks!

http://saintalfredo.blogspot.com/2007/04/comment-on-according-to-miss-woodstock.html

Had to give you a direct link to this comment made on my blog- cause it made my day- Thanks Alfredo, I'm glad to see that you appreciate my efforts!

Lying with integrity?

I think that with any lie, you have to ask yourself if you can live with the consequences of what your about to say... if you really think it over it is more than likely gonna cause worse situations in the long run. in the majority of cases telling the truth, being honest, will be hard to do- but the right thing is often the hardest.

Santa is banned from my house! i want my child to know that i work hard to provide her with the things she gets. There were a lot of comments in the lecture about children and lying to protect them- That's rubbish! Children deserve more credit than that! I know that in some situations children don't need to know all the Gorey details- but just give them i simplified version- don't make something up!

i appreciate people who are honest with me, who tell it like it is! Yes we all lie but sometimes i think you may as well suck it up and tell the truth- in most circumstances where i have lied it was because of fear...why do you lie?

More time lies will spiral out of control, taking all your memory and energy to keep up with them- most of the time its easier to tell the truth- but sometimes its m,ore exciting to lie!!!

A response to ' Is there such thing as being to religious?'

Blog title Be good at being bad...

http://invincibles49.blogspot.com/2007/04/is-there-such-thing-as-being-too.html

I agree with what you said about some religious teachings often encouraging us to behave in a better way( not being violent etc) and i feel that religion is vital to many of us in giving us a sense of belonging, identity and unity.I was bought up in the christian faith but as i have grown up i have become less and less religious, i find myself wondering if it is right to follow religion- there are thousands of religions and we can't all be right- what do you think? do you think it is ok simply to try and live a good and honest life, without believeng in one particular version of the truth?I also agree that people use religion to justify terrorism and general badness like genocide- this is wrong, every religion i know teaches us to love others and respect thier veiws even when we do not always agree- I think that was a good point for you to make.

Domestic abuse

Just wanted to throw this one out there... what do you think? I Think all of us have some experience of domestic violence even if it is remote (i.e. we know a friend or relative). Growing up i was bought up knowing that domestic violence was a 'normal' part of some relationships- but with the double standard that if any man ever hit me my dad would kill him!!! I know that most people are shocked by some of the tales we hear on the media, but having over heard these tales from the loving adults around me as a young child- i think i have been desensitised. I don't think i could ever be in a relationship and allow a man to abuse me- i think i have been bought up to have a fighting spirit and i would fight back, through whatever means. Is it that these women have no self worth, no value of their lives- has this been taken away from them, do they feel that they need the Man and so wont leave, do these abusers have psychological control over their victims?

If you do reply to this blog please leave a comment on the comments page as well as on your own blog so that i can read it! thanks.

http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/crime-victims/reducing-crime/domestic-violence/ here are some government statistics and help lines for any one who wants more info.

http://donnie22.blogspot.com/

I would just like to comment on an image used in Donnie's Blog- on the topic of masturbation! Well done- if ever there was an image which would stick in your mind and put you off, you found it!!!
Bill Crosby, looking disapproving, holding a sign saying: 'when you masturbate your deceased relatives watch you from heaven and cry!'
The last thing you would want to think about when committing any sexual act would be your Great Gran or anyone else watching you- Thanks for putting the idea in my head! lol

http://donnie22.blogspot.com/ Take a look for yourselves!

Religion

http://badgirlbeingbad.blogspot.com/

As a response to your blog on religion, i was also christened church of England when i was a baby- and have since had a Christian blessing for my own daughter, but despite this i am not particularly religious. I guess i did it for the sake of 'Tradition' (whatever that means). I feel like i want my daughter to go to church and have the same experiences that i have- but i don't really know what i believe in these days. My experiences of religion in recent years have been full of hypocrisy and people using religion as an excuse for hate and badness against others. Some of the things i learnt as a child about unconditional love and not judging others, seems to be forgotten by 'Christians' who condem you for your choices. The way i see it we all have to live and learn, and if there is a god, then one day i will answer to him for my actions!

http://jessiehuds.blogspot.com/2007/03/in-response-to-another-blog-on.html

I would like to respond to a question by Jess Kate which came out of an earlier blog i wrote on Shoplifting. she asks: However can it still be justified to the parent that cant afford to look after one baby but continues to get pregnant? My answer would be no. I fully understand the physical, emotional and financial pressures a woman faces trying to bring up a child alone- sometimes it's equally hard with a partner. i also understand that accidents happen and that you can make the mistake of falling pregnant at the wrong time, however, once you have experienced how hard it can be, why make another child suffer. i have a child, i was young when i had her and things ain't all been Rosy- for this reason i made the decision to wait until i was financially secure and working after i graduate before having any more children. Having another child knowing you will have to steal to feed them and keep them in nappies is wrong- you shouldn't use your children as an excuse. i have used my situation to motivate myself and achieve better things- it ain't hard to make a better life for yourself if you try.

http://lula-topslog.blogspot.com/

As a response to pearlsofwisdom, 'Rudeness' i would like to say that i totally agree. There are a few poeple in lectures who act as though we are still in school- the difference is that now we are paying 3grand a year for the time we spend here. I aint got that kind of cash to waste and i dont know many people who have- i would like to hear what is being said!!!

Bad cinema

I thought that kids was the perfect choice for our bad cinema session, since watching i have been trying to get my brother and all his friends to watch it. The message i got from the film was about the naivety of youth. young people do believe the stupid myths and gossip they hear about sex, relationships and life in general. By pure luck i managed to escape most of the scenarios played out in the film, but as a mother, sister and friend it was a real eye opener! young people need to have access to the facts about things like aids- without the stigma which seems to be attached to visiting the clinic. I hope that my daughter will be able to come to me in the future and ask questions- without fear of punishment. Better education and awareness on sexual health issues and general life skills would keep millions more people well and alive each year.

I work as a youth worker and i am regularly amazed by some of the things young people believe! for most of them catching an STD or getting pregnant is a laugh... you can take a course of anti- biotic to clear up any infection, get an abortion or keep the baby and get a free house and benefit! it really is no big thing to them... when i ask them about aids the don't see it as a threat- its seen as an African or gay problem. these attitudes need to be addressed. The parents of most of these young people are to ignorant, to embarrassed or to busy to allow their kids to ask questions. Most young people are scared to talk to their parents as they fear punishment or judgement- so they turn to their peers who are just as misguided as they are.... Education is the key!

The durex website has loads of information on sarer sex- and loads of ideas for great sex too!!!
http://www.durex.com/cm/safe_sex.asp?intMenuOpen=10

2 comments made on the 'prostitution' entry:
leewv10 said...
LOL! All geeza's aint like how Miss Woodstock is making out. So its unfair to tar all man with the same brush love! ;-)
26 February 2007 22:31
Jade said...
all men get wound easy- jus depends on how much skill the girl has. thats my opinion any way. maybe u are one of the few men who's brain aint in thier trousers! lol!
22 March 2007 18:03

Something we all do!

The lizard man is an extreme example of body modification...whether it be achieve true beauty or just for the attention and fame this man has dramatically altered his body in a series of irreversible ways....

Although many forms of body modification don't tickle my fancy- changing the way we look is something we all do. Whatever the reason we all seek to be a more beautiful version of ourselves- from the style of our hair, make up, piercings, tattoos- even dieting, we all modify the way we look. Variety is he spice of life, individuality and wanting to be unique is what makes society an interesting place to be...We are bought up with generalised views of what beauty is which change over time- definitions of acceptable 'Beauty' change from generation to generation, but, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, I ask the question what is true beauty- IS THERE A UNIVERSAL ANSWER??http://www.bod-mod.com/All these people see their modifications as making them beautiful in some way.... How do you see them and why do you see them that way? There is no real right or wrong answer, every one of us has a different outlook....

one night stands are a good idea?????

http://bloggers-better-know.blogspot.com/ As a response to LEEWV10 (one night stands), do you really think that having sex with random strangers is a good idea? yes it will satisfy a physical need, but it would be a much better experience if the person knew what buttons to press- further more one night stands are usually the result of large amounts of alcohol, meaning you often wouldn't even remember- whats the point? i do agree that you shouldn't dirty your own door step though!

I would just like to point out that condoms are not a hundred percent effective and that the safest thing would be to know the person your sleeping with- and what they could be giving you apart from pleasure!!!

17-04-2007
As a resposes to Leewv10's come back to this comment, i would like to say 'FAIR POINT!', WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT, i agree that using condoms does give you some protection and that this is better than nothing, while your young it's fun to experiment. As long as we consider- even for a split second- the future consiquences. As to your question, MIND YOUR BUSINESS! Discretion is a girls best friend!

Bandits and out laws

For me one of the most lovable rouges there has ever been is Tupac Shakur. His music could be controversial, violent, vicious and use some of the most offensive and derogatory language going, but at the same time he was in touch with a gentler side of himself, the loving partner/ brother and son. He wrote some of the most moving music, and some of the most inspiring poetry i have ever listened to. Dispite his portrayal of the 'Bad boy', gang member persona, every now and then this would slip and the human side of him would emerge. He reminded us that he was one of us, that he felt the same pain and faced the same struggle. This is the art of a lovable rouge- we don't see the bad, we fall in love with the good.

Infidelity

Infidelity is a very common thing, so common that is almost an acceptable behavior in our society now- unless, it affects us directly, or those who we are close to. That is not to say it is a 'good', behavior- just that we all know and accept that some people cheat.My perception of what makes infidelity attractive is all about the thrill of the chase and secrecy. Its exciting because you are deceiving your partner and getting away with it, its something new and different, you can take on a new persona- try things your to embarrassed to confront your partner with.In most relationships your partner is the one person you can be truly honest with, you can be the real you. I believe that most of us have separate public personalities which conform to some extent to what is expected of us by society. With our partners we can just be. If this is not the case and we don't feel that it is acceptable to reveal our true selves to our partners the infidelity could be a way to get around this and feel a sense of freedom.But the same things that make infidelity attractive also mean that these new relationships (if you can call them that) are often short lived, because the novelty which drew you in to start with soon wears off, either that or your partner finds out or is close to finding out which which either shocks you back to reality or sucks the fun right out.My definition of infidelity is based around 'sex', the phrase 'you can look, but don't touch' is important. At some point we all find other people attractive, that's not wrong. What is wrong is actively pursuing another person with the intent to cheat. A little bit of flirting is ok, its when you intend to take it beyond flirting- because eventually you will succeed and cheat.In order to cheat you have to betray your partner, you have to break their trust and expectations of you- if your in a relationship where your partner knows and expects you to cheat I don't think its cheating- it can only be infidelity if you go against the wishes and expectations of your partner. At the end of the day if your in a committed relationship there is a mutual understanding that you will be monogamous- unless you have both clearly stated otherwise, so if you break this you are betraying your partner. IN ALL HONESTY THOUGH- IT'S AN APPEALING CONCEPT, SOMETHING EXCITING- DEVIOUS, HAVING YOUR CAKE AND EATING IT TOO, the only down side is getting caught and lets face it- you enevitably will (usually sooner, rather than later).

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tweet/oopsohmy.html

Here are the song words to Tweet 'oops oh my'- for any one in doubt that she is reffering to pleasuring herself- this should clear things up!

http://www.starpulse.com/Music/Tweet/Videos/836056/

And here is the music video! it comes on in the central window AFTER THE BOUNTY ADVERT- SO KEEP WATCHING! Happy veiwing! (p.s its not to explicit- don't worry)

Masturbation!!!!

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